From: Edgar Allen Poe
Heaven or Hell

Once upon a campaign dreary.
While I pondered weak and weary
over many a quaint and curious
volume of greenpeace lore.

While I nodded nearly laughing.
Suddenly, there came the sound of gaffing.
The sound of White House re-staffing.
A VP gaffing on my cable channel four.

Only this and nothing more...

Ah, distinctly I remember
(unlike most of Clinton's staff members)
t'was a month before November, and the papers
were filled with stories of Dick Morris's whore.

For the surcrease of sorrow.
For there's Whitewater trial on the 'morrow.
Could your hanky I seek to borrow? Sorrow
for the VP named Al Gore.

Tis a White House patron,
I muttered, gaffing on my channel four.

Only this and nothing more.

Suddenly, a bird burst into the room,
 a demon of despair, deceit and gloom.
Flying like Hillary on her broom.
A woodpecker did land on my bust of Gerald Ford above the door.

I was filled with sudden fear
the EPA would declare a wetland here
and my livingroom would soon fill with deer.
Thus I urged the bird "Begone forevermore!"

Quoth the woodpecker "Al Gore."

At first, this bird I scoffed.
"Of Whitewater, Travelgate, and the pay-offs.
And Union money so soft."
But it sat upon Ford's balding loft,
giving the same reply as before.

Quoth the woodpecker "Al Gore."

"But Cisneros on the phone.
900 files with Livingstone.
 HRC forgetfullness so prone.
Rose billing files from Twilight zone
and the Foster note, into tiny pieces he tore."

Quoth the woodpecker "Al Gore."

"Then Marceca took the fifth.
Billy Dale they sought to stiff.
It's character that makes the diff
while pot he said he'd sniff.
Have you ever seen a President yet so poor?"

Quoth the woodpecker "Al Gore."

"The tobacco payoffs he hugged,
while White House aides were drugged,
and the taxpayers that they mugged.
How many people have they bugged?
Who would pardon such corruption to the core?"

Quoth the woodpecker "Al Gore."